Mental Vibrations

 

It is what is Missed
When no one is peeking in
we are in solitary
… no on there to scrutinize
though the senses do, ten fold

It is what we lack
and inhibitions are at play
But won't admit to
- the hope, aching away

Kept arcanely in the heart
too befuddling an idea - to speak

It is what we struggle unsurely for
  when everything is "fine" and "dandy"…

It's starting to creep up
  and in some intuitional way,
I wish
  my heart would just  unleash to my mind
- all the quiet instances it has to hide.

Missing.  Unsure what.
Mental vibrations 
a dire yearning lulls
and still my brain is null.

Zoo Animals

6.29.09

Behind 
lion roars there is no harm
monkey glances there is no thought

Behind the cage the zoo animal is lost
Behind our creation humans are much worse off

No emotion to show
or thoughts to pummel through
The television ads now tell us what to do
We avoid feeling like a plague
because we do not understand

We are uncaring unkind
so unwilling to surrender
any of the Love that has brought us here

In the moments we freeze
distractions break ice
No time for that thought
No time to be nice

I see you but don't
I listen but can't hear
I hope Love’s around but don't really know
when God's spirit is near.
(because I have forgotten to feel)

Freeing myself from the cage
(of my own making)
I let go
    roar in the thunder
    climb the trees without a care
    ask you “how are you doing?”
because you are there - next to me

In the moment that I am free
There is an open gate of possibility
Swim with me into that reality

The Greatest Emptiness

 

6.27.09

Hope won’t budge an inch from my back porch
and Quitting knocks on the front door.
Not sure where to turn I don’t turn to either.

In this lull
is the Greatest Emptiness.

I wait.  Nothing is worse.

Show Me

6.24.09

Show me where love resides (out there)
and I will be there (by your side)

Show me where laughter and joy (override & reside)
And I will stand in that garden
Facing all growths, all tribulations, all pains

Show me where hope is chosen (not dogmatically decided on)
Because it is hard to follow
And I will build the road

Show me to love's countryside (Beloved)
And there amongst all else
I will build our home (for flowers to billow)

In all the moments of anguish
Show me towards the light
Towards places that still frighten (our core)
But are still birth rights ( yet  sometimes unknown)

For I know what is within
And those obstacles of mine
Only appear -
when I have forgotten, let go
Or am not so determined (to let you show me)

Love's Garden is where each of us grow.

Connections

Just found this in OneNote I’m guessing I forgot to post it.  Well here it is edited and ready.  Enjoy! 

Connections
1.19.09

A world where division
is happening faster than multiplication

A world where faith and the claim of love
tear us apart faster than sewing the threads together

A world where solitude is praised
and vulnerability is only weak

In that world of stepping away from each other
Passing my neighbor with the glance and avoidance of saying hello
Tumbling to Connect, to Attach, to Feel
In that world my eyes look over and I know
sadly - that's  as close as I can get

division separate solitude
feel connect love  
choose the later
Open myself to let failure in
success only a step away -  glimpsing in
peeking through the door
I sense it starting and then it begins
something new can only start when something ends
try and try again

feel reject accept hope hold
let go  smell take give – anything
emotions may be the enemy
embrace them and they will 
free themselves

last time
one chance

connect
eventually it's promised - it will just be you
for now let the community in

they might not take care of you
might surprise you
might heed your success

but solitude is not really anyone's friend
try and try again
connect
just let the Love in.

Rainy Messy Days

A glance
2.19.09

On a rain covered cement paved road
Long past the moments when they held each other there
Thoughts and memories
zigzagging quietly buzzing and bumbling through each mind
not really verbally pursuing permission
but still causing waves in the tide pool to rise

Steam no longer fuming from the kettle
Tea is ready to sooth
over the tongue and to the heart 
Past the point of anger
where there is just the curiosity
Of where each path would have gone

Not really looking back and hoping
Yet past the point of regret
Where understanding is understood
And not in each breath
But thought of now and then

She wonders what if
the last embrace lingers in her mind 
as  he also misses her so
holding hands
smelling her hair
brief pauses before the next kiss 
no point in trying
a smile with contentment
of what was and what will never be again

A joy of knowing
Of having some
silly
sweet
solid 
lifetime memories
of them
even if just for a moment

A rainy messy day
A glance of the past
A soon to be future
A memory
rain pitter patters away

and the sun comes out again.

Word Play

 

Sometimes just playing with words is enough for any poet, these are some I found and then resorted.

 

Random Assortment from Wisdom

unity in diversity
identical yet separate and different

elements and eternality
sunlight's substance -
rising waves giving energy to the soul

thousands of lives
often onward disillusioned

mortality negates friction in reality
a soul lets out as light shines within a heart

an equilibrium of consciousness
blessed and evolved
within eternal cosmos

rebirth.
all as one.

Words of the Day: Palatial & Odious

Words of the Day:  Palatial & Odious
2/3/09

A Palatial Life
An Odious Life

Daily each shows up on a TV channel; often named Life
And each I watch with fierce admiration
Taking my chalkboard out and learning from each
Taking a breath to take in the roses or take out the garbage
Depending on what view is in immediate site. 

Breathing is the key
Blessings in my every Breath. 

I forget now and then
That many are not in the waiting line - for there is nothing to wait for
Many are not lonely - as there is no one to be afraid of losing
Many - Many that we're not sure of anymore
On a different channel I suppose but no one really knows.

I forget now and then
That I can brush my make up on and smile even if it's fake
That I can put on my gym shoes even if they’re super shabby
That I can tie my laces and grab my keys with my own hands
That I can drive with the windows down in January
That I can just be. 

I forget now and then
That I am lonely -
   waiting for everything and nothing that may show up
That I am scared of what I can lose - 
   and annoyed often with what I do have. 
That this is life and not a perfect record -
   or may not get any ratings this week.

I forget now and then
That we are all human
That no one but ourselves
Will let us be in clarity. 

I forget looking right and left but not up and down
That life is all I was given and what I still have
All of the silly media – shabby shoes – newest trends -
have somehow taken control.

I forget but I can remind myself -
by simply dusting off the old chalkboard.  
Blessing in my every Breath

A Palatial Life
An Odious Life
Each is a miracle to me.
Each day setting me free.